Edith is the Prime Minister's IPhone (referred to at least once as an iPod, but capable of various functions

Edith, displaying Twitter function.

including Internet searches, photography, and phonecalls.) Edith is not actually an Apple iPhone, but the PM's love of top-of-the-range gadgetry often causes him to lump all smartphones under this label, so the distinction is not particularly important.

The PM claims to have playlists full of music on Edith, but the only confirmed track is 'Spice Up Your Life' from the Spice Girls album Spiceworld. From the PM's reaction to the BBC's smooth jazz holding music, it's safe to assume that smooth jazz makes up a large part of the rest of the playlists.

PM Wheatley uses Edith, amongst other things, for posting to Twitter when not able to access his laptop. It must be reasonably sturdy, since it has been sat on, lost and dropped repeatedly during its short life, not to mention bounced off a curb during the Bus Incident. It has been repaired several times by IT Guy, and sometimes delivers messages in Greek, but otherwise seems unscathed.

Edith is an Oracle Industries smartphone, model version unknown. It features several dedicated apps, including a GPS navigational app (Atlas), and a beta-stage intelligent personal assistant app, similar to Siri.

It is remarkably prescient for an inanimate object. In the past Edith has found lost items, attempted to warn the PM of potential dangers, and (during the Bus Incident) tried to dial 999 by itself.

Twitter MentionsEdit

  • Could even say... disAPPointing. #thepunmaster (20/5/12)
  • Might have crashed actually. Shame. Disappointing, to say the least. (20/5/12)
  • That's stumped her, she's having a serious think about that. Little circle-y red thing going round & round like mad. (20/5/12)
  • Here's a poser, like to see how it handles this one. 'Who stole my lucky Magic Marker?' (20/5/12)
  • HA- see, tried the old ‘hands behind back’ ploy, threw it completely. Got it totally wrong. One point to me! (20/5/12)
  • ‘How many fingers am I holding up’- spot on, five times in a row! Mind you, it’s got a camera in there, hasn’t it- probably cheating. (20/5/12)
  • Voice recognition & everything! Very handy, since while I do have many incredibly useful talents, typing is not up there in the top 10. Think it’s some sort of beta version- techie term there- so it’s a bit buggy, but still eerily prescient at times, let me tell you. Uncanny. (20/5/12)
  • Am loving the new Oracle app. Amazing bit of kit, goes on Edith and answers anything I throw at it. #technologyismagical (20/5/12)
  • All this phone-hacking guff's bringing back nasty memories. Was phone-hacked myself once. Well, sort of. Left Edith in the loo & some bugger guessed my password. #securitybreach (16/5/12)
  • Feel like ticking bomb. V. leery of making sudden movements. Pulling plug on Edith in case invisible rays set me off. #bettersafethansorry (21/4/12)
  • Took a pic on Edith & asked Her what it looked like, in the interests of national security, but might have caught her at a bad moment. (21/4/12)
  • Talk about nerve! Definitely mine, initials on and everything, plus big scuff from passe-muraille/Edith incident. Would know it anywhere. (2/3/12)
  • This is actually better than most of the music I've got on Edith at the moment. Wonder if they've got anything else by the same artist? (8/2/12)
  • @CooperEudaemon Good, solid advice there, Coop, but that's actually Edith reflecting off some ring-binders. Seriously hope it is, anyway. (5/2/12)
  • Going to wait for night shift IT guy though- the one that fixed Edith. Much better, despite the very daft beard. Complete techie legend! (2/2/12)
  • Can't believe it! IT guy fixed Edith! Thought she was a total goner, but no, good as new, playlists still intact and everything! Amazing! (2/1/12)
  • Took Edith to IT guy on night shift to see if anything could be done. He poked at it for a bit and then asked what happened. Didn't feel like saying I'd landed on it arse-first, so told him it'd fallen out of my pocket during whirlwind tour of Belgian embassy. He got the back off and said it looked to him like the trauma had been caused by a collision with 'a large, blunt object.' [...] Reasserted my authority by telling him it was his job to fix my Ipod, not to go round acting like someone out of CSI London. (30/12/11)
  • Alright, rest easy, Britain, false alarm- horrible crunching noise was in fact my Ipod. RIP Edith. #sadface (29/12/11)

Other MentionsEdit